My insticnt told me that I could trust him, told me that he was a rare and good person. It told me that we were good friends, that we understood each other, we shared common interest, common belief and emotion. My insticnt told me that we would always be good to one another.
That insticnt was tested, and I'm sorry to say that I doubted it. But now, I know that what I believed him to be was true and real. And that's really all that matters. I'm glad to know that the person I thought he was, is who he is. I'm glad to know I can still trust him and that that one comfort to me hasn't changed.
Why is this important to me? Because my belief in people is all I really have. My belief in their goodness, honesty, and integrity means the world to me. Character is all we have. And I never what to think someone to be something that they're not, especially unjustly. And even more especially when they are someone I care about. The people that tried to make me doubt and judge, I am now wary of.
My lesson through all of this has been that sometimes it's not about finding the truth, but more so my truth. The truth gets blurred with others' beliefs and interpretations too often. I'm not really sure how to explain it, but I feel very relieved knowing that I wasn't wrong. That seems arrogant, but after everything I went through, doubting myself so greatly again would be awful.
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