Whirlwind.

The past couple months have flown by. Equally so, they have been the longest ones of my life. I don't think I've faced so many challenges and obstacles all at once, though. With school, life, family, friends, the whole lot.

My life has been so wrapped around and focused on The Wedding Singer, I'm not really sure where to go from here with it all. It a lot of ways I feel like I've discovered myself and in other ways I feel totally lost.

I'm not really sure what I want.

It's really hard to think about wants, hopes, goals, etc. when there is so much waiting to happen. I feel like I'm left in the hands of time and I don't have much control of what happens with mine.

Lately, I've been scared about a lot of things. I have fears about a lot of things and they sit in my subconscious all the time. I feel constantly distracted, my emotions already preoccupied.

It's slowly getting easier in some ways, but soon there will be so much time to focus on these underlying things and I don't know if that is a healthy thing or not to be focusing on and figuring out.

Despite these seated worries, I also have a lot to be happy about and grateful for. I'm trying to let the positives outweigh the negatives, but I wouldn't be human if that wasn't a struggle for me at times.

When I try to analyze and sort this all out I find myself just talking in circles and never really getting anywhere. I guess I just want to know where all of this will lead me, what the point of it all was. Accepting that it just is just isn't satisfying enough.