"The Only Thing Constant is Change" and "I'm in Need of Stimulation"

You know, you really can't be sure of anything but change. That is the only constant in this turbulent world of ours. Change can bring a person so much growth and joy, but it also rips them of that as well, at times.

I'm not entirely sure why things happen when they do, but I know that there is a reason. But it seems to me that in my life all the things that have happened to me have had a reason. It's just that those reasons seems to change or having different meaning everyday.

I mean, originally I thought that a certain person came back into my life as a sign that I had finally overcome my struggle, and showed me that I had found forgiveness and was finally ready to move. I saw it as a second chance. I saw it as a new hope to a previously dark situation. But now, I'm beginning to think something else was going on.

I feel more so now that it was a test. That the reappearance of this person in my life was to show me what it would be like if my "wish" for a rekindled friendship was granted. This situation has proven to me that nothing has changed with this person. And this is one time where the lack of change is not good. It's quite disappointing actually. However, on the positive side, I now know completely the end to that story. The end to that part of my life.

I had some amazing memories from that time--memories of finally beginning to find myself. I will never regret that time. I just wish that I could have held the good times through to the future and now, the present. But instead, I had to grow more from my loss. I'm thankful for finding this 'new' part of myself. This part that has struggled and hurt and survived that has become a stronger and more confident person because of it.

I've been thinking about this for a while and just wanted to get it out. I'm not emotional right now, simply complacent. A little nostalgic, but not emotional, which is an improvement.

I do wish, though, for an incredible experience. An inspiring one. I feel like a need stimulation right now and that just might satisfy that need, I would think. We'll see what the week has in store.