The roomie is most definitely cutting me out of her life completely. While I don't think she sees it that way, that's essentially what it is. Regardless, our friendship is a side note and not a priority. The boyfriend is the priority. Of course. It was hard enough not feeling needed, but now I don't even feel wanted as a friend anymore.
We are more than likely going our separate ways in the near future and I have a feeling it will mean the final nail on our coffin. As dramatic as that sounds, it really has been a slow, but sure decline for us and it really breaks my heart. I've lost friends in more ways than one more times than I'd like and it doesn't get easier. I just always feel like I'm the "best friend" and "sister" and "favorite" until something/someone better comes along. And that hurts, it really really hurts.
This is probably the first friendship where I felt like I "belonged" and like I was fully understood. Obviously Racq and I have been friends for forever and we will always know each other best, but we don't always understand each other because we are so incredibly different. I thought I had finally found that friend that was so much like me and it was effortless to be friends. We saw the world the same way. That meant so much to me and now I'm at the point where I have to prepare myself to say goodbye to that.
Friendship is the most important thing to me. More important than family. Friendship IS family to me. That being said, this situation is honestly killing me inside and I don't think there's anything I can do about it.
No comments:
Post a Comment