In response to myself...

I just looked back at my most recent post before this one and read it over again. I really do hate how I sound when I get in those moods. I feel like when I write stuff like that that I come off as weak and selfish and just plain whiny sometimes. It's just a very frustrating situation. Frustrating and conflicting.

I have done so well the past couple of months to turn my attitude and mind set around. To keep it positive and my mood and disposition peaceful. I have handled things as need be, with a rational and level head. I feel as though I have made a lot of improvement in controlling and handling my emotions and making sure they don't run away with all my crazy thoughts. But sometimes there's just some random stupid shit that happens that just makes it really difficult to keep those things up. Even something tragic and heartbreaking would be easier to deal with in a sense than just stupid, insignificant...shit. I attempt to create and peaceful and personally functional lifestyle for myself. And then meanwhile, the outside world is stuck in immaturity, selfishness, and frivolity. People are really the main distraction for me. And when those people who are ruining your environment are some of your close friends, well, that right there is very hard to deal with.

I don't know. I'm rambling and I'm tired and emotional and probably the best thing for me is sleep right now and not documentation of my thoughts. Adieu.