I really hate being bitter about so many things. Mostly about all the expectations I had that were never met. About all the things I wanted that I never got or that never happened. I'm bitter because my brother is not around and never was. I'm bitter because they didn't apologize. I'm bitter because I've never had that one perfect moment. I'm bitter because people ignore and refute truth. I'm bitter because of so many things and that's no way to live. I just don't know how to let all of these things go and get the weight off of me.
I need distractions so badly. That's why I love school and campus, because they each give me something to focus on besides everything whirling around in my head 24/7. I don't want to be thinking about all of this all of the time. It's exhausting.
Being home just brings everything to the surface and I just want to be as far away from it all as possible, otherwise it wears me down and out.
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