A.M. Ramblings.

I have to admit that I haven't really liked who I've been lately. It's not like I've been acting drastically differently or anything, but I just feel like my attitude and demeanor has changed some. I don't know why and I don't know how to fix it. But I find myself saying and doing things that afterward I wish I could take back. I don't like that I said them, how I said them.

I always try to speak with a purpose and I feel like a lot of my words have been said without that lately. Or at least, with the wrong purpose maybe. It's not like I've been saying mean or rude or unreasonable things, but none of it comes out the way I mean or want it to and that is very frustrating for me.

I feel as though I'm in a subconscious state of panic. The end of the school year is coming and I don't want this all to end. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for school and summer, but there are aspects of my life right now that I don't want to let go of. I don't want them to disappear. Plus, I'm really not looking forward to living with my mom again. I mean, it will be nice in some ways, but after being pretty independent for this long, it's going to make it difficult to make the transition.

Having all of this and all my finals and homework on my mind is stressing me out a bit, I think and maybe this is why I've been speaking and acting more strangely lately. I'm not sure, but I just want to make the most of this last month and ensure that certain things and people stay in my life after this semester is over...and that includes the person I have become throughout this year. Because all in all, I've been pretty proud of my development. I hope it continues.