Quick post before bed.

While Elizabeth is blow drying her hair, I figured I would quickly type up my realization and therefore current frustration with myself. I have thought this a few times in the past month or so, but it really has been becoming clear to me lately. I've realized how arrogant I come off sometimes, especially when working. I know that part of it is that I'm just trying to get things done and I know an efficient or productive way of doing things and I enforce it, which is fine. Though, sometimes I am insecure about that, I do know that most of the time it is understandable and necessary.

However, the way I talk about things sometimes I feel like I am coming off like I'm bragging. Nick's been teasing me lately about NKU here and there and I'm not necessarily bothered by him teasing me, I'm bothered by the fact that I gave him something to tease me about. Because, clearly I have made statements like, "At NKU we have...", "We did it this way when...", and so and so forth. And though, I only mentioned it informatively, or casually, but after I say it I hear how it could seem like I'm being pompous, which I don't want to be or even appear to be at all. I hate people like that and I don't want to be one of them.

It's just strange, because here at school I am so quiet and humble and I do things when I am told and that's about it. But back in the THS scene, I become more authoritative. I think part of it is being comfortable with the people there, knowing them and the system so well and the fact that I am now older than all of them. I feel more like an equal with Allison, Bret, and Nick than I do with the professors in the theatre department, which is natural at this point. I really hope that my letting such statements slip is just a result of the more familiar atmosphere and not that I subconsciously I think that I'm above them. I don't want to believe that I could be vain, but then again I am human. It's a part of nature at times.

I do know that I want to make a conscious effort of not making statements like this anymore and keeping my humility while still getting my job done and getting the most of the learning experience.