The puzzle.

I don't know how to fit the puzzle pieces together. I think I've spent every waking moment of my life  trying to make sure that they do. I think that's why I'm usually terminally emotional and conflicted about anything and everything.

I'm stuck between understanding whether I am invisible or I make myself invisible. It seems as though no matter what I do or don't do, that is the result though.

I want to take care of everyone else and no one wants to take care of or care for me. Protect me. Nurture me. Comfort me.

I don't think I've ever experienced true joy. Is there such a thing? Or can you not experience one thing without its opposite, its contradiction?

I'm never the choice. I trusted my Grandfather, is that way I seem to only trust those like him?

So much is going through my mind and all I can seem to do his hold my breath or cry. Cry and cry and cry.

I've been alone and on my own too much lately and I think it's taking its toll. Am I ever not alone, though?