Finding a focus. Finally.

I have always been one to have thoughts constantly spinning around in my head about anything and everything, without any hesitation or breaks. The switch is always on. For the majority of my life it's almost been like noise in my head. It was hard to separate where my mind wandered to what was reality. I think that's why I've been so emotional my whole life, because of dealing with such conflict and contradiction.

I'm not sure why, but I have a greater focus now in my thoughts. Everything is more clear. I think I'm starting to figure things out and it's putting my mind at peace a bit. It has made my communication skills amazingly better.

I'm learning a lot more how to explore and put my thoughts and feelings into words and it means a lot to me to be able to do so. I cherish this blog so much as it helps me put things into perspective and just simply express them in the first place.

Now, I have a strong urge to actually journal more. I think it will help even more, but I feel like I need to do it somewhere other than here. I don't have the time or hand strength to write, so it would still have to be a blog of sorts. I'm just always afraid people will find it somehow and I'll be completely exposed. I like sharing who I am and what I'm about a piece at a time, one person at a time, to ensure I'm ready for that to be known and to ensure I can trust the person I'm telling. I may be becoming more comfortable with expressing things, but I'm still a private person and I don't think that will ever change.